Fat Resolution

I have no idea where the notion that it is socially acceptable, or even someone's right, to tell a family member (or anyone else for that matter), "My, you've put on some weight." came from.

It's no secret that I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I was always the chunky kid, or "the big-boned one", or the fat kid. Take your pick, the labels are what they are. When I graduated high school , I weighed 220lbs and felt enormous. I was able to slim down my first year of college in the spring by playing a crazy amount of racquetball. I don't remember how much I lost, 20-30lbs I think. Of course, I put it back on. But seemed to be slimmer overall, at least in the face. Thanks to a peritonsillar abscess in Aug. 2000, I was able to get my weight to 185lbs. I looked like a ghost. Then I got married in Jan 2001, (it will be 6 years next week) and again put on weight. 2 years ago, 6 months before graduating from Medical School, I weighed 240lbs and resolved myself to losing weight before graduation. I lost 24lbs by graduation. I felt really good, still well above my "ideal body weight", but I was in decent shape, playing racquetball sometimes for 2 hours a day 5-6 times a week. 4th year medical school, especially the Spring, is a light load and allowed for TONS of gym time. I credit my good friend Billy Jordan in helping me achieve this goal.

Well, 18 months later and I have managed to find that 24lbs again and I hate it. I have known for awhile now that I had let myself go and gained weight, and looked bad. BUT I DON'T NEED OTHERS TO POINT THIS OUT TO ME! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!

So Wednesday December 27, 2006, when Beth and I returned from visiting her family in Southern Illinois, was the end. I put myself on a diet that hell won't have. There's no point in waiting for the New Year, the time is now.

I got on the scale yesterday morning and it said 241.6 UGH!!! I have my work cut out for me. It's going to be harder than ever because for the next 5 weeks I am q3 call in an ICU (Pedi ICU until Jan. 2 and then adult ICU from Jan. 3-Feb. 2). And being on call every third day is a nightmare. You're on call, then post-call (you go home and crash from lack of sleep while on-call), then it's your pre-call day, meaning your on-call then next day to repeat the cycle all over again. There's little time for anything other than working and sleeping, much less trying to eat healthy and exercising. Not to mention, but I will, that I am going to be 30 in 6 weeks and my already snails-paced metabolism will not doubt only get even slower. Is that possible??

BUT I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!!!

I managed to eat healthy while on-call yesterday and avoid the pizza, buffalo wings, and Reese's peanut butter cup cookies that the night shift had in the ICU last night. NOT ONE BITE!!! I had grilled chicken, salad, fruit, and water. And more water. And then, yup, some more water.

Oh, I'm giving up sodas. Period. No real Coke, no Diet Coke, no Coke Zero. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. It's tea or water. And more water than tea. The caffeine headaches that are sure to ensue are going to be horrific. You all do NOT want to be around me for the next 5 weeks. Sleep deprived, hungry, and in withdrawal. Sounds like fun, huh?

Tonight, as we do on many Friday nights, Beth and I went to Outback. Why tempt my new found resolve? Well, I will have you know that I had 3 SMALL slices of bread, with light butter on only one piece, I had a salad, without croutons, and minimal cheese and their tomato vinaigrette (fat free) and then streamed green beans, no butter, and a half an 8oz steak. Beth had the other half. I did not eat one bite of the Bloomin' Onion or Cheese Fries, or ice cream that was put on the table. Not one. I came home and got one the treadmill for 45 minutes. As I sit here I am drinking what feels like my 8th GALLON of water--especially since I am frequenting the restroom every 30 minutes.

So here it is. Laid out in cyberspace. My journey. My quest. My struggles and my accomplishments. My goal is lose 30lbs. But that's a start. Once there, I will need to lose more, but this is the short term goal. Healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs/week. So the time line should be anywhere from 15-30 weeks to accomplish this. 15 weeks from yesterday is April 12, 2007. 30 weeks from yesterday is July 26, 2007.

I am going to find a few old photos and take a new one and post here shortly. I have my 6 year anniversary and 30th (SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!) birthday in January and February respectively, so this is going to be a struggle. But I am determined and want to keep an honest accounting of how I am doing. Maybe that will even motivate me to blog more. Right Becky?

I hope that your Christmas was filled with joy, love, and peace. And I hope that your New Year will find many blessings bestowed on you. Be a trend setter and make your Dec. 29th or Dec. 30th resolutions. Don't wait until Jan.1, that's so cliche.